


I Want

by BloodyMary



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Implied Unhealthy Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Seduction to the Dark Side, The Dark Side of the Force, What is the Dark Side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyMary/pseuds/BloodyMary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tragedy of the Dark Side is not that the fall is inevitable. It's the slow erosion of self, until something dark, wrong and twisted remains.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peradi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peradi/gifts).



The Dark Side is not hard to understand. It's not anger or fear, or pain in themselves. It's not love, nor passion—its purest form is _I want_.

 

 _I want power_ , says the old man with golden eyes. Just power for its own sake. He has seen the connection between all living things, had felt it sing and whisper and speak, and all that he felt was this— _I want more. I want all of this. It will be mine._

 

And so, when little Anakin Skywalker shows up, so much stronger in the Force, the old man is jealous. But only for a moment. Because this little boy is but a tool. And tools can be stolen, can be shaped. He can own a tool. He can use it as he sees fit, and the power his tool has is, in essence, _his_.

 

And when it is spent, and broken, when there is something more interesting, shinier, stronger, brighter, he can discard it.

 

 _I want_ . _I want. I want. I want and this is all that matters._

 

_I want and I will destroy all that stands in my way._

 

_I me mine._

 

This is the Dark Side.

 

This is Sheev Palpatine.

 

They're one and the same.

 

 

 

The Dark Side is the step between _I want to save you_ and _I want to save you no matter the cost_ . The thin line between _I love you_ and _I love you and everything else can burn_ , between _I love you_ and _You are mine_.

 

It's not just greed or possession. It's the step, the one Anakin chooses to make to save Padme, without ever asking her if it is what she wants. The step that means all the Jedi—the ones that are still in the creche, the ones in the field and those too old to fight—will die. The step that dooms man like Cody or Bly to become only CC-2224 and CC-5052.

 

Yes, fear will lead you to the Dark Side. So will anger, and hate, and suffering. So will love.

 

But unless you make that one step, they will only lead you the a place where you make your choice.

 

You can look into the abyss and walk away. You may never be the same again, but you do not need to fall.

 

Anakin takes a flying leap and does not stop falling until his son takes his hand.

 

 

 

Or it's anger that eats and eats until it's all that is left. The kind of hatred that erodes everything, until the initial reason is lost, only _I must be stronger to destroy all_ remains.

 

Darth Maul had once upon been a child, who wanted the pain to stop, but at some point it had become _I want all to suffer as I do_. A feral monster that snaps and destroys, and has lost all that he has been and could have become.

 

And one day, it will eat him whole and only an echo, a wound that is pain and hate and hunger for something that he forgot, or never knew will be left. It will wait for the next child to ask for the strength to strike back, to break and for something to fill the void.

 

And then, it will feast.

 

 

 

Or it's bitter disdain for all those who are not you. That lets Count Dooku look at a lost girl and make her a killer. That lets him drown the galaxy in blood, because the Galaxy is broken and if he'd just have more power, he could make it work.

 

If only his lessers would listen to him, would acknowledge that he knows best.

 

It's the step he makes when he decides that _The galaxy is unjust_ becomes _I must force the galaxy to follow my rules, even if I break all_.

 

 

 

Perhaps the Jedi have made a mistake when they called this thing “dark”. Darkness is just the absence of light, not something that will devour all and never stop, never be satiated.

 

Or perhaps it would have not mattered whatever metaphor they would have chosen.

 

There will always be those that will say _I want more, I want all, I will break whatever is in my way, give me power to take and destroy, to rape and subdue._

 

There will always be monsters—ones that made themselves and ones that were made.

 

 


End file.
